Friday, October 23, 2009

OXYMORONS associated with bitsg

9.gareeb maaleek

8.written viva

7.placements chaos

6. Straight couple (bitsg has males or non-males, how can a couple be straight?)

4. normal 10-pointer

3. hottest winter (waves-winter was never this hott wtf??)

2. Clean mess

1. Beautiful bitsgian girl (all the three words contradict each other)

0. working bitsgian

awesome proverbs

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Girls == Windows && Boys == Linux

Oh, and if you have a girlfriend, don't compare her with Windows. She'll not like it.

Girls and Windows

  • Both have a great UI.
  • Both consume large resources and do less work.
  • Both crash unexpectedly.
  • Both are not easily portable on different architectures (environment).
  • Both can't work on low resource architectures (environment).
  • Both are costly to maintain.
  • Both give mostly unexpected outputs.
  • Both their working often contradicts with their documentation.
  • Both are easily prone to viruses (rumors and doubts) and they (viruses) do spread very fast in windows based networks.
  • In spite of all above disadvantages, both are liked.

Boys and Linux

  • Both have an average UI.
  • Both are robust.
  • Both are highly secure.
  • Both can be easily modified to support new concepts/features.
  • Both are efficient.
  • Both are easily portable to any architecture (environment) no matter how low the resources are.
  • You can easily guess the output for your input (in Linux just open its code, for boys they are mostly transparent by nature).
  • Both provide large support for development (work environment).
  • Both are poorly documented.

Can you think of anything else that should be on this list?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Life of a Fartaholic

Hi dere..dis is me...the very me...

Its been long since I wanted to write about me..given the fact that I have contributed so much to world piece...err srry peace.

There are some things in life which you need to learn rite frm your birth. Like walking talking...eating and stuffs like that..but then there are stuffs which nature teaches you. These are the stuffs which later on evolve to become your greatest strength or your greatest weakness.

The art to fart is one of them. Do you remember who taught you to Its easy as it seems but then...its involuntary, so then what good is a power which you cannot control. I thought the same.

BUTT then.....

coming soon.........................

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Are you the chosen one ????

Many a times we are forced to believe that we are ordinary just like everyone around us. Doing the same kind of crappy job, reading the same kinda crappy book. Then one day you realize that in fact you are not ordinary rather YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE !!!!

Times which can make you feel that you are the chosen one.

In an exam hall where 50 people are seated and 49 are involved in high level cheating you get caught. The invigilator threatens you with dire consequences . You cry....your eyes out and then he says give me a BJ and Ill let you live. You succ(k)umb to his demands.

YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE...(guess wat u were the only honest guy in the room)

You win a lucky ticket to the premiere of Ram Gopal Verma's next movie.YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE

You are able to sustain a four year long distant relationship , shelling out 2000 INR of talktime each month and one day your Chand Ka Tukda says.....Hey I am coming at your place . And she finally arrives after four years and bumps into your best friend and then they exchange some bodily fluids on your bed while you try hard to concentrate on some f****d up Harry Potter book listening to some heavy metal rock music inorder to avoid the oH Ahh and OMFG in the other room. You'll be the man of coincidences and surely THE CHOSEN ONE.

You lose your job.Your long time love-interest and all time crush is going to get married and you get an invite to a fancy dress party thrown by her would be penetrator.You attend the party(funeral for you).Then you eat like an anaconda hoping to bankrupt the bridegroom. End up getting stuffed like a giant panda soft toy. You rush to the bathroom and just in time realize that you were dressed in a trouser with 200 Buttons. You try avoiding nature's call while meticulously unbuttoning your pants and by the time you are finished with the 199th button...your sphincter muscles give up and you end up crapping the world in the pants lent to you by your friend. Does that make you the chosen one. No
But then out of nowhere the love of your life, the apple of your eyes appears in front of you and makes you realize that you just crapped in a LADIES toilet. You end your first and last conversation with her with the most beautiful opening line of the century........can you please pass the toilet paper?
If your love life ends in such a dramatic and traumatic( for the girl) situation then you OUGHT TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE

PS: Having a girlfriend in BITS-Goa doesn't make you the CHOSEN one. In fact you are one out of the Chosen Seven who proclaim that your girl is their girlfriend.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Writing your own Destiny


I have come across this one many a times. I never knew as to what it meant till I probed into it.
And here is the result. How do you write your own destiny? This was the question asked to various engg. students, and here are the answers.

Q. Do you believe in the fact that you can write your own destiny.
A. Yeah surely I do. Infact I have written it in C lang. There are a few bugs I need to get rid of them. Once I am done with that I will release the source code. And you see I strongly advise you to use open-source, say no to MICROSOFT .

Q. Have you written your destiny?
A. Is that in the syllabus. Was that even discussed in the class. What destiny....I have to finish writing three reports and prepare for you think I have so much leisure time to think about such crap.

other EEE guy- Hey dude don't bother us. You see we have a 2 marks test tomorrow and the syllabus includes 300 pages from this book. Am already half marks below the class topper....I am very depressed...I feel like killing myself for making that silly mistake in the last xam...nyways..please F**OFF.

Q.Have you written your destiny?
A. Yeah did that once but then God was pissed off with me. I had forgotten to label the DIAGRAMS. He tore it and threw it I am li8 now. Nyways....I am goin to the GYM wanna join me?

Q. Do you Believe in Destiny
A. You are asking the wrong guy man. Destiny GG....Dota \m/........CS...\m/
BTW where are the new episodes of Fringe BBT House Himym and 2.5 men....

Q.Do you believe you can write your own destiny.
A.One sec let me finish my Old Monk First

Q. Do you believe in destiny?
A No...not at all...I believe in Punarjanm...U c I am a Duali8

Q.Do you believe You can write your own destiny.
A. What did the CS guy say.

He said he is workin on it.

Ok then once he is done Ill get the code from him...make some minor tweeks....add my copyright and voila I am done with my own destiny...

PS: This is not intended to be a guide to writing your destiny.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Popular BitsGian myths

Every modern society has various myths.....Bits Goa has its own.....BTW it took me three yrs to figure them out....

1.) This one is the most important one....."CGPA doesn't matter"
thats the oldest myth.....I heard it frm my seriors frm their's and guess wat the chain is still unbroken.

2.) Bits Goa is at par with Bits Pilani. I would not like to comment on this one. This myth usually gets bursted once you are in your fourth year.

3.) Goans are frm Goa.
This one is ridiculous . I never believed this one. In fact after months of probing I got my hands on a highly confidential document which has a reference to some paranormal extra- terrestrial activities noticed on the ground floor of AH-7.Its quite evident as these so called Goans are always involved in stuffs that have minimum resemblance to any kinda normal HUMAN behaviour.

4.)Some random couple was cought in the act behind the workshop.
What the f**k....I dont believe anything like that anymore...and so should u...and for GODSAKE stop goin there late night in search of a story . U r not gonna get anything trust me I had spent two precious sems doin that.

5.)EEE is a engg branch in Bits-Goa
Its just ur grade...not a branch...mind that

6.)IS and CS are the same
How can people believe that....they dont even spell the same..

There is more to come....the research is still on..